Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
