I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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