You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
