Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He did a backflip because drugs
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