Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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