im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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