They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
