Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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