Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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