I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
