As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
