I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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