She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Randomize
