not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
