Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There's always time for handjobs
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
