GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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