So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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