Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
