I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
