i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We don't watch enough power rangers
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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