when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
