i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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