I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
