The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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