i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We are two peas in an std pod
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
