I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
