loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
