You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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