: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
