wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Be still, my beating vagina.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
