its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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