i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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