I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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