i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
