Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
