i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
