Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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