It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
