I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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