Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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