Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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