oh god the rape fog is back!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
