Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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