i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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