His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
