i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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