There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
