Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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