Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
PANTIES FOUND
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