the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Let the clothes fall where they may.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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